Envy
by april060917
Summary: An M/C with a hint of Connie/Lupo in the begining. My first story so be nice. Comments and sugestions always welcome. Already posted this story but I had to delete it b/c of computer problems. Anyways read and enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Connie Rubirosa rummages through her jewelry box for her other diamond earring. They were a gift from her father after she was accepted at Harvard Law School. Cyrus would be here any minute she thought to herself. And I'm not even close to being ready! For one thing she was still wearing her bathrobe. She'd just taken a shower. Barley. After court, Michael stayed behind to talk to the judge. She'd been planning on a quite night at home with a bottle of wine, after a long day. Turns out Cyrus followed her out. As she was hauling a cab, he caught her arm. They shared a cab and before getting out he offered to take her to dinner. Her response had surprised him as much as it had surprised her, to hear herself say it. She'd scribbled down her address for him and told him to pick her up around seven thirty. When she first started to work for the DA's office, she'd vowed she's never mix her work life with her social life. She thought it'd be easy since she had so little of a social life, except for the occasional drink with friends once or twice a year. Now she was getting ready for a date with Detective Lupo. She finally settled for a midnight blue dress with a sash the complemented her figure. It wasn't too dressy or too casual because she didn't know exactly where they were going. All the while she was getting ready she couldn't seem to keep her thoughts from wander to Michael. True he was handsome but he was also her boss. And at times he seemed to be an inconsiderate jerk. Like the time her pimped her out the juror number eight, then accused her of using her sexuality to get what she wanted. How dare he! Her blood boiled and she felt like smacking that smirk grin off his face. But she'd managed to keep her temper in cheek. Then there were the occasional flirty comments he always threw her way. Like the time when they were in court and the judge had almost thrown out their case because the lab was taking forever to get the facial analysis results. She'd bought them some time by showing the judge a picture of her, in her early teens, to prove that people change over time. She'd been the ugly ducking back then but her looks had improved throughout her college years. Michael had asked to see the picture then remarked that he might've had a chance with her back then. She didn't think much of his comment at the moment but when she tried to ask him later what exactly he meant, he refused to answer and proceeded to change the subject. It was so irritating! Why did men have to be so dammn complicated? Why couldn't they speak plain and simple English? She was so tired of being his consolation prize, a second thought, or arm candy. She didn't know why she put up with his crap. He only remembered her when he was invited to a fancy function and needed a date to show off, so woman wouldn't swarm him. Typical Michael. He believed he was the center of the world. And if he didn't, he certainly acted like it. She tried to put Michael out of her mind and concentrate on Cryus. She wondered what had prompted him to actually make a move. She'd known that he had a crush on her for a while. Every time they were in the same room he couldn't stop looking at her. Overall he was a nice guy so she figured why not? I might help her stop thinking about Michael. And she needed to improve her social life anyways. A knock on the door interrupted her train of thought. She took a final look in the mirror and went for the door. And sure enough it was Lupo.

He took a look at her and said, "Wow! You look great!"

She smiled and said "Thanks! So do you. You look so much better without that old dingy hat"

"Hey! As long as it keeps me warm, I'm fine with it."

She laughs and he says" We should get going. I have a cab waiting." She grabs her purse and closes the door. When they reach the cab, he opens the door for her. "_So far, so good_ " she thought to herself. They both get in. The cabbie apparently has had previous instruction for Lupo, because he takes off once they're in.

"So where are we going?" she asks curiously.

"Wait and see" Cryus responds with a small smile.

Turns out Cryus is pretty funny. But even he can't distract her from Michael Cutter. Being with Lupo didn't feel right to her. But maybe that was because she was being close-minded about it. Personality wise he wasn't so bad. She just couldn't picture anything ever happening between them. They were so different, unlike her and Michael. She forced the thoughts out of her mind and concentrated on the present situation. The cab stop in front of her favorite Italian café.

"How'd you know?" She asks him, getting out of the cab.

"I didn't." He said," I took a lucky guess." He opens the front door for her and they both go in. They sit at a little round table near a window. They order and talk about the latest case while they wait.

"I heard you were quite a hit with the Reverend," he says

"Really." She says curiously." Who told you?"

"Michael. He told everyone actually. He's quite proud, you know?"

"Uh, yeah." She responds trying not to be thrown off by the mention of Michael. Cryus doesn't seem to notice. He keeps talking.

" I heard you charmed him to testify with literature"

"Actually, it was the Bible, but yes"

"I didn't know you were religious"

"I go to church every once in awhile. I'm not a complete atheist. I also think it's important to know a little about every religion. You never know when it'll come in handy."

"True enough" he says.

"So how are the law classes going?" she says, changing the subject.

"Okay, I guess. But I think I'm sticking to the police department"

"I'm assuming that means law isn't your strength."

"Then that assumption would be right." He says. She laughs and says" Law is defiantly my strength or else I wouldn't be able to survive in the DA's office."

They eat and talk. After they're done eating, they go for a walk. By this time they've had a couple glasses of wine and are more comfortable with each other and more relaxed. She leaning against him as they walk and he has an arm around her waist. They walk to a nearby park and sit on a bench.

"I've had a great time," she says.

"Me too." He reaches up to her face and gently pushes a loose strand of hair behind her ear. She looks up at him and suddenly they are face to face. He leans in to kiss her. She hesitates but also leans in at the same time. The wine starts to get to her head. The kiss goes from slow and sweet to passionate in seconds. She goes along with the moment and wraps her arm around his neck. He runs his hand up and down her back, sending chills up her spine.


	2. Chapter 2

But they aren't as alone as they seem. They have a certain audience across the street. Or rather a certain someone. Michael Cutter stood across the street. He'd forgotten some important files at the office and returned for them. As he was leaving, he made a stop at Starbucks. Since he would be up half the night finishing his work, he figured he'd grab some caffeine to keep him awake. As he was leaving Starbuck, something caught his eye. A couple across the street. They looked oddly familiar. No sooner than the thought sinks in, he realizes who the couple is. It's Connie and Detective Lupo. But they're too busy, lost in their own world, to notice him gaping. He stands frozen, for a while. Why is Connie kissing Lupo? He can't seem to breath. He feels confused, angry, anguish. Angry at himself and Connie. Mostly at himself. When Michael finally regains consciousness, he realizes he spilled coffee on himself. Someone must've shoved him, causing him to drop his cup or he just let go when he saw… Well, you know. God it made him nauseous just think about it. So he didn't. Or he tried not to. He dropped the empty coffee cup in a nearby trashcan and hauls a cab. He gives the driver his address and the cab takes off. The driver looks in the review mirror and says

"You okay back there?" Michael is pale and keeps muttering to himself." You look like you've seen a ghost"

"Not sure yet. I think I'm going to be sick." The driver hands him plastic trash bag.

"Open the window and stick your head in the bag if you need to puke." Michael gratefully takes the bag and lets the wind whip his face for a minute. The nauseous starts to fade, so he closes the window a bit.

"Thanks", he says to the driver.

"No problem" the driver responds," So what's your story?"

"My story?" Michael repeats, slightly confused.

"Yeah. Trust me everyone's got one. I've heard them all. The cheating wife, to the crazy stalking ex."

"Actually, it's neither. I just saw a rather unpleasant sight. Two of my coworkers…"

"I get the picture. Let me guess, you like the female co-worker but you haven't made a move because you think you're not good enough for her."

" Essentially. How'd you know?"

"The look on your face says it all. And I told you buddy; I've seen it all. I'm more of a therapist than a cab driver. So what's she like?"

"Beautiful. She's charming, sassy, caring, compassionate, smart…" He trails off. "She's everything I've ever wanted."

" You've got it bad."

"What do you mean?"

"Your in love with her. That's why you're reacting this way"

Michael sits in silence for a minute." You're right. I know your right." Michael sits quietly for the rest of the ride.

Finally the driver says

"We're here." He stops in front of his building. "Look. Piece of advice. I suggest be honest with her. Woman like honesty. And who knows, she might have the hots for you too. And if not, move on. It's not the end of the world. Plenty of hot women out there."

"Thanks" Michael says, handing the driver a two twenties. "Keep the change."

"Good luck", the driver says and takes off

The next day, at the office, Michael swings the baseball bat, trying to calm himself down. He's cranky and irritable, not only because of last night's incident but also because that was the reason he didn't get any sleep. Or finish his work for that matter. Jack was going to kill him. They had court around noon and needed those papers. The papers that laid, unfinished on his desk. Jack comes in and watches for a minute. He mutters

"Try not to break anything" and closes his office door. He knows better than to ask.

His next swing comes dangerously close to model staircase, next to his desk. He pauses to take a breath before continuing.

_"Well, at least one good thing came out of all this" _He thinks to himself irritably._ "I've perfected my Louisville Slugger." _

He stops again and realizes Connie's been standing at the door with her arms crossed. Her trademark position, whenever she came to see him.

"Working off some anger?" She comments sarcastically.

"You could say that," he says, trying to contain the anger in his voice. She ignores it and continues.

"Franklin's lawyer subpoenaed all the evidence we found in the hotel room, claiming that we didn't have a proper warrants."

"Great," he says, running his fingers through his hair. Connie tries not to look at him and concentrate on their current case. But it's so hard. He looks so _damn sexy _when he does that.

_"Good thing he doesn't know the kind of mesmerizing power he has over me"_ she thinks to herself quietly. It makes her want to grab him right on the spot and kiss him. She forces her thoughts back to Franklin and his lawyer.

"Well there goes our entire case", Michael snaps bitterly.

"We still have the DNA match and possibly the ballistics" she says trying to be optimistic. He starts to respond bitterly but then stops himself. It's not her fault he's a bitter fool. He doesn't want or need to hurt her unnecessarily. She has a right to be happy, since he's such a coward to admit his true feelings for her.

" Michael?" The sound of her voice brings him back to reality.

He realizes she's waiting for an answer.

"Uh, call the detectives and see if they have anything new for us." She nods and leaves. Then he realizes what he just told her to do. Call her new boyfriend.

_" What the hell is wrong with me?" _He thinks to himself. He seriously wants to break something. Last nights events keep replaying in his head, over and over again. He just can't seem to get a lid on his feelings. He knew he was going to go off on the wrong person, at the wrong time. This was only going to lead to trouble. He sat there for awhile, contemplating his pathetic life.


	3. Chapter 3

She manages to keep herself in control until she reached her office. She sinks into her chair, and then realizes her Blackberry is flashing. Five missed calls. All from Lupo. All in the past ½ hr. She sighs and picks up her office phone. She has to call him anyways. She dials the detective's office number hoping Green will pick up. No such luck.

"Lupo" he says

"Hey, it's me"

"Oh, hi. I just called you."

"Yeah, I noticed."

" Are you free tonight?" He asks before she can say another word.

"Tonight? I'm not sure. I might be working late. Hard case."

"Oh." She notes a tone of disappointment in his voice

"I'm sorry."

"No, it's ok. Just taking a chance. Don't feel bad. But I don't think that's why you called me."

"It isn't. Franklin's lawyer subpoenaed most of our evidence. Mike wants to know if you guys have anything new for us."

"Actually we do. We've got a ballistics match from the bullet found at the crime scene to the gun we found on him. We also have fingerprint matches. We'll be right over."

"Okay. See you in a bit", she says hanging up. She heads out to tell Michael the good news, but pauses, remembering his sour mood. How cold and cruel he was being towards her. Why? She wondered. Why did she have to fall for him? Him out of all people! This man who happened to be her boss and at the moment seemed to hate her. She felt horribly guilty because of last night. Her date with Lupo. But she had to forget about Michael. She had to convince her heart to move on. Because he wasn't interested. If he was he would've grabbed one of the many opportunities she'd let slip by him. She'd given him so many chances. They'd been working together for years and despite all her hints he remained uninterested. She knew that if she weren't so straightforward and cold with men, they'd be flocking her door. She was desired by men and envied by woman. But the only man she wanted didn't want her. Men, like Michael mad her feel vulnerable. She hated being vulnerable. He forced this intense desire and longing to come out in her, putting her heart, not mind in charge. And that only lead to trouble. She decided to ignore Michael's previous behavior and just behave professionally. She got up and headed for his office. As she got closer, she heard him yelling. She wondered who the poor victim was. She peered through the blinds and realized he was talking to himself.

_"Well, this is a first"_ She thought to herself. She stood at his door, wondering if she should come back later. But he spotted her before she could make a decision.

"What?" He said, roughly. She was taken aback by his harsh tone and he winces at his own tone as she answers calmly.

" Green and Lupo are on their way. They found some evidence we can use."

"Great" he manages to mutter, under his breath, He continues to mutter and pace around the room.

"What's wrong?" she asks. Just to be polite.

"Nothing." He answers, unable to contain the anger and resentment in his voice.

"Fine. I'll be in the conference room." She turns and leaves. Now he feels even worse for speaking to her so harshly. Who did he think he was to dictate whom she could and could not date?

"How long did I expect her to wait for me?" he thinks to himself. His heart answers before his thought is even finished.

"Forever" His heart quips. "You thought everything would eventually work out. You expected destiny to play your part."

His fear of rejection and confrontation in situations other than a courtroom also played a huge part in the matter. He was losing her, the only one he really wanted, and the only one he couldn't live without.

"What's wrong with me?" he thinks to himself. But it turns out he's so wrapped up in his thoughts; he doesn't notice that Jack's been standing at the door for the past couple minutes.


	4. Chapter 4

"A lot of things." Jack says coming into the office. He closes the door behind him.

"What do you mean, a lot of things?" Michael asks, slightly confused.

" You asked and I quote" What the hell is wrong with me?" I responded "A lot of things." Number one, you're yelling. I could hear you all the way outside. There are people in this office, whom unlike you, would like to be a slight bit productive. Which brings me to my next point. Your lack of productivity is also another thing wrong with you. And I think I can guess the cause of both of these reasons."

" There is no cause. I'm just a bit stressed out."

"There's a world of difference between stress and jealously. Your jealous."

Michael says nothing but turns around to look out the window. Jack continues.

" I was in your shoes once Mike. Her name was Claire.

"Claire Kincaid. " Michael says quietly.

" I was the EADA and she was my ADA. Technically, I was her boss. But she taught me a great deal of things about myself. Things I didn't even know about myself. She showed me a different side of me, a side I didn't know I was capable of having. She was my one and only true love. But I never told her."

" What happened?" Michael asked.

" She died. In a car acident. She was driving Lennie Briscoe home. I offered to take Lennie home but he wanted to stay at the bar. I took a cab home. Later that night she went to pick him up. As she was driving him home, another car hit them as they passed the intersection. The car hit the door of the driver's side. She died at the scence, before paramedics could get there."

Michael turns to look at Jack. Tears are running down his face.

" I never told her. How much she meant to me. How much I loved her."

Michael isn't quite sure what to do. Jack crying? He stands there quietly.

"I don't want anyone to go through that kind of pain. The pain of losing someone you love. It's horrible, Mike." Jack takes a deep breath and wipes his face. He goes back to his old stubborn self. The weak moment was brief.

" Michael you remind me a lot of myself when I was a young attorney. Sometimes I'd like to strangle you for being so stupid and reckless. I don't like you much and I know we often don't see eye to eye. But you need to trust me. Do the right thing"

"Right thing." Michael repeats quietly." What is the right thing?"

" Tell her the truth. While you still have the chance. Don't wait until it's too late. When you want something you have to go after it. You can't just expect it to fall into you lap."

Michael gets up and heads for the door.

As he's opening the door, he pauses and asks" How'd you know, Jack?"

"Know what?"

"That I was… You know…"

"Jealous? It wasn't too hard to guess. You've never acted like this over a case. And you were swing that bat like crazy. So I put one and one together and I figured it out. I've seen the way you look at her. I wasn't too hard to guess."

As he's opening the door, Jack says "One more thing. Don't' you dare ever tell anyone that I cried. I think you'd rather not find out what will happen to you if you do."

" I didn't see a thing," Michael says, leaving the office. He approaches the door of the conference room. He can see them through the blinds. All three of them are sitting at the table in the conference room. Lupo is sitting awfully close to Connie. Too close. He takes a deep breath. He has to handle this situation diplomatically and professionally. He goes in. All three of them look up

"Well it's about time." Ed says jokingly.

" Care to join us Michael?" Lupo asks.

Michael doesn't answer. He turns to Connie and says" Can I talk to you for a minute?"


	5. Chapter 5

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"Sure." She says, getting up. She has a slightly confused look on her face. They excuse themselves into the hallway. Michael has a serious look on her face. It's scary. She's never seen him like this.

" What's wrong?" she asks, trying to keep the worry out of her voice. He doesn't exactly answer her. All he says is " Come on." She follows him to a file room. She goes in after him and he closes the door.

"What is this about? She asks, crossing her arms over her chest. "Why couldn't we talk in the hallway?"

"Because." He turns to face her. He take s a deep breath and says" I need to, tell you something. And I'd like you to listen without interrupting.

"Okay" she says, leaning against the wall. The room is small and narrow so they're only standing about a foot apart.

" Connie I've known you for a long time. We've worked together for almost three years and all this time I… I don't even know how to say this. You've meant a lot to me. You've been more than a work colleague. You've put up with my crap when other people would've just taken the easy ways out and strangled me. What I'm trying to say is… You're the most amazing woman I've ever met. I didn't realize how much you meant to me until I saw you with Lupo last night."

"I can explain…" She starts to say but he stops her.

"You don't need to explain. I have no right to dictate whom you spend your time with. But I just want you to know how I really feel." He takes a couple steps forward, until they're standing face to face. He takes her hand in his and says, "I love you Connie. I always have and I always will. I know my timing sucks. I'm stupid and selfish to expect you to drop everyone in your life but…" I wanted you to know."

He looks at her and can't quite tell what she's thinking. He wants to kiss her so bad but he doesn't know how she feels or even how she's going to react, now that' he's spilt his guts and true feelings to her.

She looks into his deep blue eyes and it takes her breath away. She's trying to compose a sentence in hr mind but she just can't seem to get the words out.

Her face is unreadable and he feels a pang of disappointment. He lets go of her hands and says, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have … I'll just leave." His voice trails off and he turns for the door. She has to say something, anything. This is her only chance. She manages to say, "Wait!" He pauses with his hand on the doorknob. He turns around and she walks up to him. She stands directly in front of him. They're standing face to face and she can feel his breath on her neck. She whispers," I love you too, Mike." She starts to slip away but he catches her wrist. He pulls her back towards him. She sorts of sags into him. They look into each other's eyes and he kisses her. Softly but with so much passion and desire that it quickly changes. He wraps an arm around her slender waist and she clutches onto him. He wants to lock the door and make love to her right then. Unfortunatly, Jack and the detectives are only a couple doors down and they'd be busted within a minute. When they finally manage to pull apart they're both slightly breathless. He looks at her and smiles. Her face is flushed and her hair is slightly messed up.

"I guess this means you and Lupo aren't serious?"

"We never were. I only accepted because I thought you never ask. Sometimes I thought I was crazy for loving you so much… He puts a finger to her lips and says" I never doubted it for a second. I knew since the moment I met you. It took me awhile to stop denying my feelings. When I finally did, I was afraid I wasn't good enough for you. You always had men tripping all over your feet. Your amazingly beautiful and I don't deserve you." She smiles and he says" But I'll sure as hell take you, if that's what's makes you happy." She forces him to stop talking and kisses him Her arms wrap around his neck and their bodies seem to fit together perfectly, as he pulls her in closer. They stumble and end up right against the wall. Michael is starting to rethink a pervious thought. As he's about to tell her to lock the door, it swings open. They're in a slightly compromising position. It's Jack. He stands in the doorway with his arms crossed. They immediately pull apart but Michael keeps his arm around her waist. Connie looks a bit uncomfortable. Finally Jack says" Not in the office and not while I'm here. I'll let it go this time but if I catch you two again you'll both be working separately in traffic violations for awhile. Awhile meaning two years. Now get back to work!" They both start to leave but Jack stops Michael.

"So…"

" I hate to admit it… but you were right." He leaves the room with a smile and Jack chuckles to himself.

The End


End file.
